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How can I meet up with my date?

Me and a guy are dating purpose it’s long distance. I’m 14 and he’s 16. (I met him before and We Were friends at the time) hes planning on coning tO me so we aim together canspend the day my parents r over protective for dating and driving alone with a guy. How can I go on a real time with him?

One comment

  1. William Benteen

    Hi Danielle,

    Just casually have the guy over to watch a movie when he’s in town, and both your parents are home. When your parents see you sitting close to him on the couch, they’ll immediately know what’s happening. Although they might not be happy about it… they won’t be too surprised, either. The desire to date is completely normal.

    The way the guy acts around your parents will be critical. If the guy introduces himself, gives a firm handshake, makes good eye contact, is a gentleman, is able to engage in polite conversation, keeps his hands in appropriate places, and shows respects for both you and your parents… then perhaps your parents will let him take you for a drive or to the mall.

    If they refuse, then you’ll need to respect their decision. In that case (which is likely), politely ask your Mom to drive both you and the guy to the mall instead. Be honest and tell Mom & Dad he’s your long distance BF.

    Look at your situation from an adult point of view. If you were to walk into a local DMV office at age 14 and demand to be given a driver’s license “because I’m mature and feel ready”, what do you think their response would be?

    The fact that other families allow their daughters to date at age 14 isn’t relevant in the eyes of your parents.

    Regarding parental restrictions… be aware that your parents know exactly what the hazards are.

    The specific reasons for parents being worried about their daughter dating probably includes their knowledge and experience about some of the following issues:
    – Because lots of teenage guys tend to be frogs… not princes.
    – Because teenage guys will typically want to go way past kissing if the girl allows it.
    – Because many teenage girls are simply too vulnerable, too impulsive, and too emotional.
    – Because lots of teenage girls frequently have poor judgment.
    – Because teenage guys are typically only interested in what’s in a young girl’s panties.
    – Because teenage guys often don’t care about a girl’s feelings.
    – Because the types of teenage guys who are bold enough to be dating are frequently focused solely on satisfying their own selfish desires.
    – Because teenage girls tend to equate love with kissing and sex (translation – they get their heart trampled), while most young guys don’t (translation – they simply say “See ya later!”).
    – Because after the inevitable break-up, a teenage girl will likely feel as though her world has collapsed.
    – Because any older guy who would date a young and vulnerable teenage girl is a creep.

    A few things you might do to convince them to trust you is consistently showing maturity, being helpful, showing good judgment, and telling them what your morals & standards are. Be advised that sneaking out, dating behind their back, arguing, acting spoiled, being immature, acting ungrateful, or engaging in rebellious behavior may result in your parents delaying their permission of your dating.

    Note that parents can often pick up on your values even if you don’t say anything specific… such as by the kinds of friends you hang around with, and also the kinds of hobbies, books, movies, TV shows, and music you spend time on… but it would help to verbalize your values for them.

    What else can you do?
    – Tell your parents that you know that some guys can be liars and jerks, and that you won’t believe everything a guy whispers into your ears.
    – Tell your parents that you plan on keeping your panties on until you get married (and mean it).
    – Tell them you know that keeping your virginity will eliminate 99% of the creeps, losers, and players… and mistakes of passion… which will make your life much happier and simpler in the long run.
    – Offer to get a purity ring to wear, and tell them you want to protect yourself against pregnancy, STD’s, and excessive heartache.
    – Tell them that you will not engage in any alcohol or drug use.
    – Offer to let them meet any guy before you would be allowed to date him.
    – Ask them if you’ve overlooked anything.
    – Thank your parents for caring enough about you to set limits.

    How can you keep your heart from getting trampled? Keep your panties on until you get married. That’ll eliminate 99% of the creeps, losers, and players… and mistakes of passion… which will make your life much happier and simpler in the long run. You’ll also be protected against pregnancy, STD’s, and excessive heartache.

    Final advice? Don’t make too many stupid decisions, don’t date jerks, don’t drink too much booze or take any drugs, don’t have friends who drink heavily or take drugs, listen to your Mom and Dad, read the Bible (the Gospel of John is a good place to start), and then everything will turn out fine.

    Those are a few things for you to think about, Danielle. Good luck!

    Signed, WB

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