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How do you meet a mature single adult male?

I Have Tried A Few dating websites, yahoo personals & fixups by friends. I do not think I am Being Unreasonable in my list of qualities I am looking for. I work too much (70 hrs a week), Have a child (not living with me), beens Twice married, make plenty of money, live in a beautiful city. I am bipolar and stable, so I do not really think That Is year end. I only Have A Few Requirements of a potential mate – employed, intelligent, no kids live in, loves cats, that ‘Would my child like him, a moral person, more spiritual Than religious, Does not want more childern, close to or older Than my age (my age Being 39), not a fanatic about sports (ie. watching Every sporting event on TV), kind and thoughtful. . . . . . . Is this too much to ask? What am I doing wrong? Help, any suggestions Would Be appreciated.

28 comments

  1. you dont meet them u have to breed them

  2. You described me,
    But I am on the west coast.

  3. girl, at your age and with your baggage, you should be happy with a man with a pulse

  4. is there really such a man????

  5. HI!

  6. proly the kids part
    u dont want him to have n e?
    but u have one already.
    kinda unfair if u ask me.

  7. Honey, there are no mature single adult males left in this world!

  8. call me

  9. Give me, give me, how about you giving a little bit more then asking only what you want.

  10. look for a nicely dressed guy and ull know right away that he can cover atr least half of those requirements

  11. Nack Jicholson

    Sweetheart you arent looking for a sweet smart dependable mature man.

    You’re looking for a gay man.

    Hate to break it to you, but the straight man that lives up to that list of criteria doesn’t exist.

  12. Don’t dwell too much on your expectations. You have a long list of requirements, and the chances of someone fitting ALL of them is slim.

    Once you allow yourself to see all kinds of men, you’ll realize that some suit your needs in ways you hadn’t even thought of before, even though they don’t meet every preconceived notion you had.

    Let yourself go on blind dates, to singles dances, etc. with an open mind, and I bet you’ll meet someone in no time!

  13. Yes, too much to ask… You’d have to marry 10 dudes to get all these qualities together! Lady, at 39, you can’t be *that* picky. Take it down a few notches.

  14. In a perfect world it is not too much to ask, but this is NOT a perfect world.

  15. Maybe you should just take a break and let it happen naturally. Loves has a way of creeping up on you when you least expect it. Just hang out and do what you do and you’ll meet him. It takes time, but it will feel more natural if you don’t force it.

    Go out with friends, go to a bar, club, dinner, etc, wherever you can have a good time. Good luck

  16. the_secrets_keeper

    You are looking for someone who is 40 or older. Those are ussually the hardest to find. And you are also looing for a stable long term relationship and you dont seem to be willing to take some risks and try casual dating someone first.
    You may have better chances if you try some casual dating, no one is saying sleep around, but you should be a bit more open minded than that perfect man list you have

  17. Hon, that’s quite a list you have there. I think if you dropped the liking cats part, you would do better.
    I like cats, but most men, seem to prefer dogs.
    But with a long list, like yours, it is easy to see why it’s taking so long for you to match up.
    You can keep your list and keep looking and hoping, for Mr Right, or you can whittle your list down to a more reasonable level.
    Employed, intelligent, Spiritual, no more kids, and loves you and your child.
    Drop the sports thing and the cat fancier. It will give you a bigger pool to fish in.
    Good Luck.

  18. Most men do not care for cats, some do, but very few. All the rest would be easy to find, depending on what City you live in.

    If you posted where you live maybe someone would contact you for a friendship from here, who knows.

    Just a tip, stay away from alcohol, the bi-polar thing and alcohol is a bad combination, also people who are not will or may become bi polar.

  19. and do you mean mature, as in older……well, there are many here….though I am not sure any of us would be what you are looking for…but there are many everywhere

  20. you don’t want a man you want a butler. You are asking a lot for a self indulgent workaholic that is an emotional wreck and can not sustain a meaningful relation even with her own children. You don’t need a man you neen a phychologist.

  21. If you’lll pardon my asking, were you divorced twice, and were you husbands unfaithful to you? It’s an important factor.

    Assuming that even if you divorced them for these reasons, there aren’t a whole lot of decent men out there.

  22. Apparently it is.
    It might be your attitude. I know 2 other bipolar people and I can tell you if I was with someone that loved me to death one minute and hated me with a passion the next I would not stick around very long. Especially when the hating starts to last longer.

  23. church is the best place to meet someone, bars are the worst but a lot of good relationships have started in bar’s. and l know some bad relationships that started in church as well. Get out of the house stay active try going to poetry readings or other social groups be careful and patient if you see a single guy you like give him a smile let him know you are interested.

  24. Actually, you are listing a lot more than a few requirements.

    1) employed – okay, understandable
    2) intelligent – okay, makes sense
    3) no live in kids – if he is 39 or older there is a good possibility he might have a kid or two living with him. If not, the ex-wife may have custody
    4) loves cats – okay, that is doable, but if he is a dog lover, he might not like cats
    5) children like him – tough..you wont’ know until you date him a significant amount of time
    6) moral – tough..again it depends on your definition of moral
    7) more spirtual than religious – that is fine
    8) does not want any more children – that’s tough..if the guy is well into his 40’s..I think it is possible..but he may want more children though
    9) around your age – not a problem
    10) not a sports fanatic – Okay, most guys like at least one sport…so give him this at least..otherwise artistic type guys might not like sports..remember compromise is important
    11) kind and thoughtful – reasonable to ask

    Okay I just listed all of the requirements you asked. Eleven is not exactly a few. I don’t want to upset you or anything..but you probably will have to compromise on a few or knock a few off…most guys cannot fit exactly what you want..I hope you are giving the guys you date a chance and not just eliminating a guy just because he doesn’t fit the list perfectly.

  25. intelligent_friendlistener

    Not if your personal ad read like this. The one kicker may be the bipolar as we all seem to know a woman with this disease today and women always feel that if they are now feeling good, – they are cured, – and then the medication stops. Then we find out they are not cured, – they are dangerous to themselves and others. My niece is diabetic and tells every prospective employer of her condition. She is therefore unemployed. And she is bipolar. She should not be upfront about either condition to a prospective employer as she will not get the job. It is against the law to not hire her for this reason, – but, – who says why she was not hired. She won’t take her medication and is a b—- as a result. I have two sisters and three nieces that suffer from bipolar. Any time they think they are well, – they stop medication. Every family I know has a bipolar woman there somewhere. I would not get involved. Also men in your age group are going thru crisis and want the 20 year old bimbo. Stay on your medication, leave that part out of your profile, and remain optomistic. Love will come.

  26. you seem have a good career and hope a good marriage right,how to find a… i try to suggest that you can enjoy the works and try to attend the groups in the city or the party of course, to find some one and make friends, and i hope you could learn some course about I.P.R (interpersonal relationship) to know how to get some methods .the more you try the more you can find out.good luck!

  27. Working 70 hours a week is not conducive to an active love life. Add to the fact that you must spend time with your child and all the other little things we adults must do to survive, IE, pay bills, eat, sleep, makes me think that you have no time at all for your perfect man.
    Two marriages puts up a red flag, in my opinion. It’s hard to keep a good marriage going and you have struck out twice.
    Of the requirements you list I strike out on only two of the twelve. I’m allergic to cats and I enjoy watching sports on TV.
    But you sound like you require a lot of maintenance. So, I’ll pass.
    D

  28. sweet sexy san

    well true love to me is an natural thing. you meet people every where you go gas station, grocery store,library,church, etc. if it is meant you will find what your looking for and nothing can stop what god has for you.

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