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I have trust issues how do I get past them?

My husband and married five years Have Been. About two years ago he lied to me about contact with his ex. Then A Few months later while he was in school (sub school) he joined an online adult personals site (I found this Because he paid for it out of our checking account attached). I really love him and I have wanted to put all of this behind me. I have a strange feeling he is keeping something from me now. I have no proof just a feeling (i had this feeling right before I caught him in past lies). He has-been great the last couple of years and I feel terrible doubting him feel this goal is keeping me up at night. My friends say I am being silly and That It is psychological. They want me to seek therapy. My husband does not want to tell to a therapist Because he is afraid it will get out (he is military and he does not want his career ruined). He thinks we can get through this if we just deal with it Ourselves. Can you get over trust issues kind of thesis or will I be suspicious the rest of our lives.

6 comments

  1. Wives want the absolute perfect husband and they deserve to have it. However, in reality, no one is perfect. Everyone in the world has flaws. When you love someone, it is because of who they are, with all their imperfections. Firstly, you need to sit down with your husband and had have an understanding of what trust means. You will find that you both have different perspectives. You need to come to an understanding about your trust expectations. If you can’t agree, then you have a difficult decision to make.

  2. You can get over the trust issues, but it takes work and time on both your part. He needs to be more open about certain problems he has with why he feels he needs this other contact and openly talk about it with you. But getting over it can take months or even years.

  3. Im the same way i have really bad trust issues.,i feel my wife has been cheating also. I cant,sleep also its killing me. I know shes lying but i have no proof! Idk what to do we tried counseling and i looked like a insecure butt head. Bad thing is i know her better than anyone so i know for sure shes keeping something from me. Good luck and your not crazy your feeling is probably right!

  4. usually sex addicts dont stop unless they get therapy.it is not unusual for you to have trust issues.he cheated on you.if he was on a sex sight he was screwing women on there too,i bet.check and see if he is on that site again or on any other sites.do you know his yahoo id?he might use it as his profile id.go online and investigate.plug in his yahoo id on google and see what you find.you have to be alert and ahead of the game.dont let your guard down.if he gets therapy the military wont find out.the therapist is not allowed to give out info unless he allows it.my mom worked in iraq for 2 yrs and she said alot of those men and women cheated over there.its tough a person has to not be selfish and narsasistic even if the are away.there is never an excuse for cheating.i dont care what he saids.he cheated it his issue.nobody elses.remember this,you had nothing to do with it.i dont care whae he told you.there is never an excuse to cheat.thats why there a termanology called communication!you do whats best for you to get peace.stand up for yourself.you did not disrespect him and would never and you would never have any dumb excuse to do so.
    p.s. check his yahoo messenger.he could have “friends” on there.make sure he doesnt keep a webcam.hopefully he doesnt have one hiding and uses it when hes away.
    if he is on dating/adults sites he can hide his page whenever he feels like it.

  5. If you guys choose to deal with it yourselves then only your husband can cure you. He has to willingly opens up and share everything with you, no secrecy.

  6. You have nothing to worry about. If you’re meant to find anything out, that day will come when you are ready to deal with it. Till then, close your eyes BUT don’t be blind. Don’t put all of your energy on a suspicion. You have a relation ship to keep healthy.

    The truth always comes out sooner or later.

    Take baths and have a glass of wine with your husband.

    Enjoy each other while no facts are confirmed. Leave it for tomorrow. Today it’s not the case (innocent till proven guilty).

    Not worth loosing sleep over this. You need your beauty rest ; )… If you focus to much on this, you might attract the negative energy. It might create other problems, other then what your thinking.

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