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I think my daughter might be a sociopath?

Question by AlysrianXian: I think my daughter might be a sociopath?
I have two daughters. I also have two problems. I think 1) my daughter might be a sociopath and 2) she might have been abused or someone she knew was abused?

Firstly, my eldest daughter had a speech delay and was being treated for it until recently. She is completely caught up on her speech and has been passing her tests (etc) with flying colors. Originally she was speech delayed by at least 3-4 years, and in the past two years we have caught her up. She is very smart. Sometimes it’s really creepy how smart she is. And…how mature. She was in therapy during her speech delay independently of her speech classes. I signed her up for it, just in case.

My eldest is very mature for a soon to be 7 yr old. She likes watching adult shows (that I monitor and watch with her). She reads Nancy Drew books, etc. Even her speech patterns are now more mature then most kids her age. I guess this part isn’t so strange, as each child is different.

She also likes to be “mommy” to her little sister (soon to be 5). So much so, that half the time I am correcting the things my eldest has told my youngest – even though my eldest knows better.

This brings up the 2nd problem. I caught my eldest trying to stick a big lego block inside of my youngest’s butt during bathtime. Since then I have neither gotten a straight answer out of her where she learned (definately not from my house) nor have they taken a bath together since. She originally claimed someone at school told her about it, but then later changed it to “I don’t know”. I immediately changed her school, and since have had zero issues with this.

I am concerned about this behavior though. I am not a helicopter parent, but I watch my children 24-7. I know what they are doing, when they are doing it, and how they are doing. The “block” incident happened when I left to get them towels to dry off. Poor planning on my part, I guess. Is this a sign she was abused? Is this a sign that someone she knew was abused? I’ve never heard of this before, and I’m scared to ask any of the other parents or professionals.

We have had multiple lengthy discussions about personals, etc with my eldest now. My youngest we have taught not to let others touch, etc. My oldest is obviously more mature so we explained mostly what a pedophile is…after the “block” incident. She knows now not to touch anyone else’s personals, but she knew BEFORE too. That is why I’m so confused about this. We taught her not to do things like that, yet she did it anyways.

My eldest also seems to ignore the fact that there are consequences for her actions. She KNOWS the punishments, yet continues to break the rules of the house. She also cries for absolutely NO reason at all, most of the time when things aren’t going her way. She also LIES nonstop. Sometimes these lies are the most outrageous things you have ever heard and make absolutely no sense.

She used to be a very loving child, but after her sister was born – she doesn’t like hugs as much. We used to snuggle in bed and watch kid movies, but even if it’s not a kid movie, she hates to snuggle. She likes to spend a lot of time alone, doing her own thing. Getting a kiss from her is like pulling teeth. She even says things like: “I don’t like to ___ with you.” to her father and I. I have a feeling like she does this just to hurt my feelings.

We recently got a new puppy. I have caught both of the kids trying to choke the dog, no matter how much I warn them not to. I have even told them I will find a better home for the puppy if they continue, but that doesn’t stop either of them.

I just don’t understand what is going on with my baby. She never used to be like this, and I’m not really sure if this is normal behavior or not. She used to be exactly like me. She was very sociable, and loving. Now…not so much…this might actually be a huge problem with her previous school. The previous school even managed to lose her 3 hrs, and doing all kinds of bad things. It was so bad I had to switch her school mid-year.

I assume it’s because I guess I don’t give her enough positive attention. So, tomorrow, I was planning on having a mommy-daughter day (we usually have one once a week per child)…even though I had one with her the other day this week. Does anyone have any ideas? I was already thinking of calling her therapist again to reschedule appointments again.

Edit: Her therapist has said there is nothing wrong with her, but I have serious doubts about that. My husband says I shouldn’t lable her as a sociopath, as that’s being a bad parent…but I have a serious inkling that she just might be.
I should add that while the therapist says there is “nothing” wrong with her. The therapist originally diagnosed her with RAD, but then later changed that diagnosis this past year to “normal”. The therapist assumed she had I guess gained the RAD diagnosis after being lost for 3 hrs at her previous school. (The teacher put my daughter on a public bus, and thus she was missing for 3 hours. It was the main reason I swapped her school, that and she was being bullied – punched, kicked, etc…with zero help)
I have asked multiple times if anyone has abused her in any way, she also says no. I have separated my children to the best of my ability. My eldest attend school, youngest is home. My eldest comes home and spends time with one of the parents…while other spends time with the other parent.

I do NOT ask professionals or other parents, because I interviewed at least 6 before finally “settling” on this one. They ranged from blaming myself, my husband, my youngest…and all sorts of disorders. 3 of them told me to beat her with a belt. 1 told me time outs were the only way to go. The final 2 were just idiots that had no idea how to even TALK to a child (really? baby talk to a 7 yr old?)
Before you all ask, we have 3 cats too. I have a feeling like they don’t pick on the cats because the cats will scratch them. The puppy doesn’t do ANYTHING back, at all. So, I have a feeling like they KNOW they can get away with it without getting hurt. Hence, they do it. I punish them, but I guess it does nothing. I have had conversations with them. I even gave them the ultimatum that if it doesn’t stop by the end of the week, I’m giving up the dog.

Best answer:

Answer by Swati
Something is definitely wrong and creepy. The butt incident the dog thing. Change your therapist get a second opinion and watch your elder daughter. She might be teaching something wrong to.the younger one too. Get the poor dog out of the house in a safe place otherwise he will end up dead like seen in Hollywood movies

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  1. OK the dog choking thing is actually normal. I have seen kids punt cats across the room. I would be more worried about the puppy turning on them eventually.

    Abused children play with them selves, hump things. This doesn’t sound like abuse. However go with your gut. My mother knew long before I told her.

    She is a kid. The sister was likely on her hands and knee and she saw a hole. Just like a kid finding out they can shove things up their nose.

  2. To me it doesn’t really sound like she is a sociopath. She’s on a serious mean streak, but I highly doubt she is a sociopath. Part of the reason she may have changed is because now she feels she is competing for attention with her sister. Kids tend to be selfish at her age and even though she gets a special day too she may feel that she wants more attention since her sister gets the same.

    I do think that it is also possible that she was abused by another classmate perhaps. She is probably acting out partially because she feels more attention when she does bad things. I would try not giving her more attention than needed when she does bad things. Just correct the situation and move on. When she cries cause things don’t go her way just ignore her completely(i know this can be hard but clench your teeth and bear with it). Then when she behaves give her as much attention as possible.

    If you don’t trust the therapist’s diagnosis then get a second opinion from another therapist. Good luck.

  3. Don’t be so quick to call a child a sociopath, because they don’t always know better.

  4. Sounds like Aspergers to me..I would have her checked out by a doctor for that..

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