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Q&A: Do you think adult women who are developmentally disabled should be equal with women who aren’t disabled?

Question by Sandra R: Do you think adult women who are developmentally disabled should be equal with women who aren’t disabled?
Equal in the dating scene. My opinion, we should be treated the same way women who aren’t disabled. We have a right to get married just like everyone in this world

Best answer:

Answer by Person With Disabilities — PWD
Yes, adult women who have Developmentally Disabilities should be equal with adult women who do not have Developmentally Disabilities.

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9 comments

  1. absolutely! men and women, gay, straight, disabled, not disabled, we all have the same rights to the pursuit of happiness and if that involves marriage, then we should all have a fair shot!

  2. Every single person is entitled to expect to have dreams and to have a lifestyle they seek. Every person deserves to be treated equally with respect and have the same opportunities as each other no matter what their disability is.

    Believe me, those of us who dont fit into the disabled category still have disabilities of some sort. It may not be visibly evident but they are still there. Consider the person who cannot maintain a longterm relationship or has a phobia about commitment to see just what I am trying to get at here. On the other side of the coin, you have to feel sorry for those who sadly lack the ability to see more of a person than just what is on the outside…a true disability.

    Every single person should have the opportunity to be what they want and to be happy. I agree with you completely.

  3. It saddens me that people with learning disabilities are sometimes treated badly by the people who are meant to look after them.

    Sometimes we ‘more able’ people just do not know how ‘less able ‘ people think about marriage and sexuality. We think they are like children – then some think it is wrong to allow marriage or sexuality in someone who is both adult and ‘child’

    It is true that we have a duty to protect those who maybe can’t see all the dangers, but amongst the ‘more able’ people there are many of us that have big problems in understanding one danger or another.

    I do not believe it is wise for everyone to be treated equal as there are some people who might only have a relationship with people they can manipulate to make themselves feel powerful. The ‘less able’ person would then be very vulnerable and most likely will get very hurt.

    I like to think that the ‘more able’ women in my family will always ask for my opinion and the opinion of other family members before they make a big decision like marriage. One did and we all thought the guy was bad for her. At first she did not want to beleive it, but later she saw that he was very bad to her.

    She had the right to ignore us all, but loved us enough, and knew we loved her enough, to realise we wanted her to be happy even if the guy was not perfect. But this guy was nasty. Now she sees what we saw about him.

    So, your disability makes it very difficult for those who love you very much. They can pretend you don’t need their help or they can try to help and maybe make you sad, if they think the guy is not good for you.

    But I do think you should be allowed to marry, maybe with the consent of the people who care most for you.

    Each person’s problems are a little bit different. I hope that you can be happy. Remember that many people marry then divorce. So marriage may not be so good for you either!

  4. for the most part, yes

    there are some men and women who have such limited skills they cannot consent to marriage…but many people with developmental diasbilities do have significnat skills and the ability to decide to marry

    People who can’t take care of tehor basic needs independently like bathing, making a bowl of cereal or just remembering to eat DO NEED a guardian.

    Doing away with guardians all together is NOT good—some people can’t fathom that some people have profound disabilities where they can’t communicate or take care of any basic needs……it would be NEGLECT to not have a guardian.-

  5. Unequivocably yes, without reservations – unless you have a guardian and legal ones exist. But those laws should be done away with.

  6. You have to understand that no one is equal to anyone else when it comes to dating. Dating is a matter of being attracted to someone, which makes it hard because women with disabilities are not portrayed as attractive in our society. although that’s no reason for us to sit at home alone.

    Meeting people is a challenge and sometimes we have to find a way that play to our strengths. As a wheelchair user with other physical problems, it was difficult for me to meet guys in person because they would make assumptions about my level of functioning. I had to find a way to get past those assumptions. My choice was to use the telephone.

    I met my fiancee ten years ago through telephone personals. I needed some support from friends to make it safe to meet new people. I never went for that first cup of coffee alone. There was always a good friend a few tables away in case a guy was creepy and I needed to make a quick exit.

    You are right. We have the same right to be married, but we have to put ourselves out there to meet people

  7. astrocytomasurvivor

    Yes I do. Why shouldn’t they be? Just because their brains function differently? Everyone is created equal

  8. I’ve always thought about that

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