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should i let him go or fight?

okay. . . here’s the situation. . . we’ve been married 7 mos. together for three years. We have three kids together. . . Things Have always beens rocky for us (finacially and relationship wise.) Until before we got married we had an excellent 3 months Where we were very, very happy. Which happens more goal Often we are not then arueing over something. . . to start. . . i have MAJOR trust issues (aways have this is not a new problemthat’s share of the reason we fight so much), i think i have ocd because i cannot control theese thuoghts obsessive about it. he is in the army, we got married right before he Went into boot camp, deliriously happy We Were before falling on Effective and boot camp (bct). . . now he’s on TDY (meaning he’s far away and i can not be with him) and he’s hanging out with new people, and acting very Differently he’s not as affectionate, he does not Seem to care as much (his friends are all single and They like to drink allot). . . i found some things That made me believe he may be cheating. i found an online adult personals profile in his name (3 mos ago, it was intended from before he left for bootcamp and there was no feeling or recieved messages on it) with all of his info on it (Which he swears he did not says his friend do and did it to Spite our relationship, long story.) and i found a manga (Which he Said one of his buddies from bootcamp Told him to take so he would not get in trouble for HAVING contriban items. goal i do not care as much about porn … it’s just porn, but i do think he was lying to me) and i got a high phone bill and he has sexline Said HAD Called us and wrongfully charged us (it cost us 50 $ he was on for 7 min and 5 min, it said) so i confront him about theese things. . . now he’s sick of saying his Being accus

10 comments

  1. The Correct Answer!

    I’m not sure, but these answers should help.
    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081110221330AAqeXYi

  2. You already know the answer. If you feel like you should let him go then you should. Especially if he has given you reason to. You might just want to hold on because you don’t want the change or because it has just come down to subconsciously not wanting to be alone.

  3. You may have trust issues, but you have WAY too much evidence to believe that he was/is cheating to ignore it… The fact that he is so willing to scrap your marriage and “be friends” says to me that he wants out and is just looking to pin the guilt on you so he doesn’t have to feel bad about himself… I may be wrong, but you’re probably better off without him.

  4. I would let him go and sort out your emotional issues. If you can’t trust him, then there is no way your marriage can work when he works in the Army. Plus it doesn’t sound like you have good communication because he is always defensive and you seem to be always attacking and accusing.

    Perhaps some time apart to work on both of your own issues can help make you stronger in the long run. He may just need some time alone for a while until he adjusts to Army life (which is a whole new world to Civilian lifestyles).

  5. It depends how old he is, even though y’all have 3 kids, you may have jumped into a relationship a little too soon. It seems he is trying to use reverse psychology on you to make you feel bad. But just do you, and occupy your time with work, school, your kids, or even other men until he comes to his senses. Then once he realizes you are not worried about him, he will have that “ah- ha” moment and will wake up and discover that he was just trippin’ with his self. Worry about you your unborn child, and your kids for the time being, because he is being a liar and a serious jerk at this point in y’all relationship. But don’t worry ALL relationships have this at some point. Then on top of that, my dad always told me anytime you think something is, it is.

    Good Luck!

  6. I want you to listen to me and listen good. This guy IS doing all you suspect. Nobody (particularly a man) would put him on a dating site even for revenge purposes. Men just don’t do that kind of thing. He did it himself. In addition, the sex call was exactly what you thought it was…..a call made by him. He is now trying to turn it around on you because he got a taste of freedom and does not want to suffer the consequences of you knowing it was all his fault. You are not some suspicious little girl who is wrong. You have good instincts. Furthermore…..no man leaves his whole family and pregnant wife because she is suspicious. If he loved you truly he would not be doing the things he is. STOP letting him turn this around on you. It is not your fault….as much as you wish it was so you can absolve him of all the hurt he is doing to you. He is GUILTY as charged! I am 49 years old and have been through many relationships. I learned over all these years that what you suspect is what is happening….ESPECIALLY if it is as OBVIOUS as your scenario.

  7. Don’t do anything while he’s gone, wait til he gets back and can sit face to face with you to say these things. But ease up on the name calling and judgments, those will only makes matters worse at this point. In fact step back and let him breath, don’t call him so much and when you do keep the conversation about the kids and what they are doing. In the meantime think about what you can do to help yourself in this situation. What will you do when he comes back if he’s determined to break up. Save some money for yourself and make a plan on what you can do.

  8. One of my friend found condoms from her husband’s car.They dont used to use it. It was obvious that he was cheating .And she started to hate him.It started problems in their relationship.
    She didnt talk with him for 5 or more months.But used to cook very tasty food and maintain house very nicely and dress up beautifully and used to play and mingle with the children.These all made him feel to involve with the family.
    She never bothered to mind him for a few months.When she neglected him,he wanted to join with them.
    This may work with you also.Make him feel wanted.

  9. Hi there.
    First of all.
    Wake up!

    If you don’t fight for what you want, who will?
    Also you know what’s the best for you and your child who’s coming into this world very soon.

    Try to get him back, but if that doesn’t work out. It means that it’s best for you to find someone else who can give you what you deserve.
    Unfortunately sometimes things don’t go the way we want to.
    So move on and go find your happiness.

    I hope you guys get back together, but if it doesn’t happen, I’m sure you will be fine.
    Be strong and don’t give up. Live your life and be proud.

    We all are given a cross to carry along the way and trust me.
    God doesn’t give us a cross too heavy to carry, he gives us right one because he knows we can carry it.

    Good luck my dear.

  10. You should confront him with your concerns, if he still feels the same and doesn’t want to seek help with you to make the marriage work,then you need to move on so that you and your kids can have a less stressed environment and a happier life l would let him go… but not freely… he owes you for support of your kids, don’t go after him for spousal support though, just make sure he does his part to help take care of your mutual chidren.

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