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What would you do if you found out your spouse has joined HAD personals website?

My husband, and father of my two daughters and her unborn, created a yahoo personals ad awhile back. I am safe ET Does not use it anymore, because i know password history and There has-been no activity. I Had fate of gotten over it and forgotten about it, and now i just discovered That ET HAD created a personal ad is an “adult” version of a personals website. I found out password history, and it beens Has not active in the last 3 months. That goal historical profile Stated He Was looking for a sex partner. I kind of doubt That Physically ET ever cheated on me. . . . Although I am not sure. . . . purpose I am still hurt and confused. If ET is unhappy with me and our sex life, why to does he stay with me? We do not Have the best relationship (Obviously) but its not awful Either. What would you do?

17 comments

  1. Silently Confused

    Confront him. Ask him why he’s going on these sites looking for a sex partner when he’s a married man. Let him know if he does it again you are leaving.

  2. Confront him. If you don’t, it will probably escalate into cheating.

  3. wow that would hurt me too, leave him..he has commitment issues

  4. I’d let ‘whoever’ have him and move on with life. He’s being deceitful. Do you really want that? Wouldn’t it be better to move on and find someone you can trust and don’t have to check up on all the time?

  5. I would find a quiet time and confront him with your evidence in a calm way, his reaction will give him away.

  6. well don’t tell him you know the passwords. just keep a eye on it. its a bad thing that you would snoop like that but now that you know. well just keep it to yourself. he might be just messing around (not cheating) but messing around on the computer. guys and girls do it out of boredom or this is a problem between you two with commucation or he feels like he dont get enough attention from you. remember to keep and good man happy and thinking of you. if a dog doesnt get feed at home he will rome the nieghborhood lookin for food.

  7. Sometimes men have weak moments where they act on negative impulses. Sometimes they have a purpose behind their actions and that impulse doesn’t die. SInce he has created 2 of these accounts I would have doubts on whether he was just having a weak moment or if he had already been acting out on some of these impulses. You need to talk to him about it and see what he has to say. I would not take this with a grain of salt because you don’t know what he may be up to. Also keep your eyes and ears open. After he tells you his side listen and go on, but don’t be blind to his actions.

  8. First of all I’m so sorry, I know how it feels to feel betrayed and lied to, and now you’ll deal with feelings of being inadequate. But your not!

    This is going to sound crazy but he probably has a need some were in your marriage your not meeting and vise versa. I absolutely suggest some type of counseling. We went to a church and they gave us free marital counseling and that saved our marriage. If counseling is out of the question (which for MANY men it is) try and ask him if there is anything you could do as his wife to improve. He’ll probably drop his jaw. There are so many good books to help with situations like these. Like For Women Only by Shaunti Christine Feldhahn. If you want to save your marriage you’ll have to put some work in. I’m sure your thinking why should I do all of this he’s the one that is out “looking.” But if you want to stay with him trust me. I’m on the other end of what your dealing with and it’s so worth it.

    Good luck I’ll be prayin for ya!

  9. keep a copy of everyting and divorce his ass! it’s only obvious he wants someone else- he just hasn’t met her yet.

  10. Have a serious talk with him and find out why he is doing these disrespectful things and ask him what the problem is.

  11. Here is my take – even if confront him here he might be doing other things behind you back so the key issue is to open up the communication channels. As for looking for sex partner that would raise a flag to me.

  12. iloveyourmomsboobs

    Loose weight, start stripping, bend over and take it from behind.

  13. Hmmm…a tough one here. I know you will not like what I am about to say but I am going to let you into the mind of a man. Men can separate sex from love. He can go for strictly sex from one person and still love his wife. This is why most married men do not leave their wives for the slutty tramp on the side. She was just a piece to him that he promised the world to for a little play.

    Now back to your situation. Sex outside of marriage is adultery. You have found two profiles looking for sex…what are you waiting on? When will you confront this man on his actions? Now if you do confront him, what are you looking for as a reasonable resolution to the problem?

    More than likely if he really wants to continue looking for sex, the moment you tip him off to your awareness of his profile and password, he will become a little more mysterious and advance in hiding the next one. So you have to think this through and be smart about how you approach him and what you will or will not tolerate in the marriage. Going to him with emotion will not work. So leave the tears to the side. You have to be clear about how it makes you feel and communicate this but do so in a very logical and concise way to get your point across. Then you have to find out why he is doing this. With you being pregnant, he could have a fear of hurting the baby and doesn’t wish to have the type of sex he wants to have with you. Be gentle and understanding to this but don’t excuse his behaviour. No matter what he comes back with, there is no excuse. However be willing to find a resolution to it together. One that makes both of you happy.

    Since he has broken your trust, he needs to know that he will have to regain it again. Make sure he is aware of how serious this is and that you will need full transparency. Cheating isn’t always just physical. Sometimes intentions are all that is required.

    If he gets defensive and after some time you find out that he is still doing it, then you will have a bigger choice to make. However, make sure he knew what the consequences would be if he did again.

  14. I think If he was thinking about it-it is only amatter of time and opportunity sorry but true dear

  15. You should do what my friend did when she found out the same thing about her husband she went and join the sight found herself talking to her husband without him knowing it was her decided they should meet up and when she came face to face with him he knew he was busted, anyways they work it out and went to marriage canceling and doing alot better. good luck.

  16. That is a clear sign…even if he didn’t follow through…he is considering it. Maybe he just wanted to see the kind of people that would respond, but you guys need counseling.

  17. I think he’s probably ready to cheat, for whatever reason.

    Dont let him know about what you have access to, you willl just lose the ability to spy, which, sorry, you need.

    I’d think seriously about leaving him, if you can. I don’t know that I would care to live, looking and spying on him~

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