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Swingers Guide


Enjoying House Parties and Other On-Premises Events

Since you may have the opportunity to get physically close with one
or more folks during the course of the evening, it’s probably a good
idea to take a shower, brush your teeth, and (if necessary) shave
before showing up. If you like to use your fingers inside your
partners as part of sex, don’t forget to clip your fingernails

Even if you’re a regular, it’s usually polite to make a party
reservation rather than just "dropping in", and to cancel
your reservation if you can’t keep it. For parties in peoples’ homes,
it’s usually polite to ask if there is anything you can bring (e.g.
chips or beverages). Arrive on time, and if you are part of a couple
be sure you arrive together as a couple.

Generally the host and/or hostess will fill new couples in about
party rules and etiquette, often as part of an orientation to their
club. The Jacuzzi or hot tub, if there is one, is a good place to get
involved in friendly conversations; most folks at swinging events are
more than happy to answer questions and talk about their experience of
the lifestyle.

It’s a good idea for couples to stick together at the party unless
they both agree that they’d like to mingle or play separately for a
while; if one partner just wanders off, the other may feel abandoned
or jealous. If you DO need to have a serious relationship discussion
or argument with your partner, however, it’s considered polite to do
so away from the party in a more private area. In general, if a
bedroom or other space is being used for sex it’s considered impolite
to carry on loud or extraneous conversations in it that might distract

The tradition at some on-premises clubs and party houses is for one
of the larger rooms to be for the "group scene." Depending
on the club some rules of etiquette may be slightly relaxed here; it
might be assumed OK for someone to touch you unless or until you say
no. Again, this completely depends on the club. Opening closed doors
to bedroom areas and then just staring at whatever is going on is
usually considered pretty rude, and men will have more fun in ANY of
the party’s play areas if their female partner is with them (some
clubs actually have rules about men going into the "group
scene" area without their female partner). If at some point
during the evening you decide to wash up, be careful not to use
somebody else’s towel or washcloth on your eyes or genitals (this
should just be common sense).

Using alcohol to excess is a poor idea, especially if you or your
partner are just getting into swinging. Many non-swingers have their
first quasi-swinging experiences when they are heavily intoxicated,
and then regret what they did the next day or blame the alcohol for
what they freely chose to do; try to make your experience different
from this.

But without question, the most important suggestion I can offer is
to always keep track of where you’re at, and only do what you want to
do. If you don’t want to swing with someone, just say no tactfully
and courteously. You always have the right to say no to anything, and
if someone doesn’t take no for an answer you should tell the party
host immediately. In swinging, sometimes you will be told, "No,
thank you." When this happens, just accept it graciously and
don’t inquire as to "Why not?"

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